noooooooo, don't make me leeeaaaaaaavveeeeeeeeeeee

OK, I write to you from the messiest my room has been all semester. Also, I write to you in a state of sheer denial at the prospect of leaving tomorrow morning early. My journey starts with a bus to the train to Charles de Gaulle to Madrid (barring volcanic activity). I have given myself 10 minutes to be nostalgic and emotional in a word-vomit/stream-of-consciousness post where I let you all know how sad I am to be leaving this amazing city. For those of you who are aware of my European summer, you know I will be back in Bordeaux on 2 more occasions. This is awesome, but it won't be the same. I have so loved living here. Seeing the people, dodging the dog poo, smelling the pastries. Simply walking the same streets, seeing the same sights, visiting the same cafés.... I have just said good-bye to my best friends in the program, and immediately walked back into the war-zone that is my room to actually begin putting clothes in my backpack. I walked home in a daze, fighting back tears, skin crawling, finally realizing, yes, this is actually the end. One of my close friends, Collin, summed it up by saying that this is the end of "one of the highlights of [my] life." It's so true. I have wanted to study abroad my entire high school career and even before that. Did I really understand what study abroad was then? No. Did I ever really know what was going to happen to me during the 5 months I live and learn immersed in a different culture? Certainly no. I was told by my roommate from Fall quarter (the quarter before I left) that study abroad would "change my life" that I would meet friends of a lifetime and comeback completely different. I have been told by close friends from back home that I have changed, that I seem different. I can't tell you how, but apparently it happened, (so, Hilary, you were right.) And in a second bout of clairvoyance, Hilary, I have for certain, met the friends of a lifetime. Jokingly, we discuss what we will say at each other's weddings, the toasts, who will be in the wedding party, but I truly hope to be there (if not planning the whole event.) It's sappy and ridiculous, but I'm really going to miss this place, these people, and this experience. I don't even know where to begin. This is a start. The 10 minutes are up, and packing is calling. I will have a more rational post with things in a more sensible order. Bordeaux me manquera! :(