Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

So, I have actually never been to Kansas, but really, I'm no where near anything that I have experienced.  Today was an implosion of things that made me realize that I have it pretty good in the United States.  There are the things I expected (a language barrier, a general feeling of foreignness, missing loved ones) and then there were the things I never expected to miss (a final exam schedule, online course registration, toilet seats).  It seems we have all started to reach that point.  That point in the semester abroad where the thoughts of home bring us into fits of nostalgia only satisfied with excessive swearing, general ranting, and some pastry.  A friend of mine in the program also recently blogged about this.  And she summed it up quite well.  What has led me to this point?  In my favorite way to do anything, here's a list.

1. I had a paper due today on an obscure portrait from the eighteenth century.  It was obscure enough that even with the help of the UCLA proxy server, I was unable to dig up any online sources from JSTOR, GoogleScholar or GoogleBooks beyond the large and sweeping overviews.  I was able to find 1 book with 2 pages on the work, from the catalogue of the last exhibition this work was exhibited in ten years ago.  This book could not be checked out of the library, nor could it leave the library, so I had to go to the library and take photos of the pages so I could have a reference at home.  There is no photocopier in the library. (This is frustrating, but that was part of the weeks leading up to this day, it gets better.)  During class, the professor turns to me and says: "Do we need to make a meeting?  How am I testing you? An oral, right? OK, let's set up a time for this oral."  Taken aback, I say, "OK" and then think, I thought this paper was my grade!  When I go to talk to her, I say just this.  And she replies, "Oh, right! Well, perhaps if we have time you can read your paper to the class!  Won't that be fun!?" My paper, all in French, has proper grammar to the best of my knowledge, but I do not want to read it outloud.  To native speakers.  So they can judge me and give me "helpful tips."  NO.  Also, in reference to my writing, another one of my professors said it was "cute." He smiled and and giggled to himself.  Apparently, it wasn't wrong, but it wasn't "French."  So, yes.  In the end, there wasn't enough time, but, as she said, "There's always next week!" (No, really, no thank you.)

In this 2 hour class, as I watched 4 students present their works and then get mowed down by the professor and classmates, I bit my nails to the quick, typed a lot of FML's on gchat to my friend working in the Centre du Californie, and had several near implosions as every person finished and she went down the list to the "next victim."

2.  God willing that I don't actually have another final in the class where I just turned in the paper, I only have 2 oral exams left.  I found out today that one will be next week! On Tuesday! In 6 days!  I'm going to Paris this weekend.  The lecture I'm getting tested on pertains to the Holy Grail and its representations.  The professor talked really fast and really liked to go into the ancient etymology of words pertaining to the grail.  Good.  Studying in Paris, I'm excited.

3. My other oral exam is not scheduled yet.  He is really not worried about it, so we're just hanging out, you know, waiting.  We can just take it whenever.  It's like those friends you have, and you say "We should hang out sometime!" And, really, you don't intend on hanging out, and both parties know this but you're cordial, so the friend replies, "Yeah, for sure, sometime soon," never actually specifying.  Our professor is that friend.  I mean, I guess he has to do these finals at some point, he's just not in a hurry to schedule them.

In other news, all the upcoming finals means school is almost done!  This will be good.  Then I can just roam Europe, hanging out, seeing friends and family in exotic places and having great adventures.  I cannot wait for this.

Also, I know that this post may make me seem ungrateful for this experience.  I am having the time of my life.  I am just so lucky to be here and I completely understand how INCREDIBLE it is that I get to do this.  My afore mentioned friend that I was gchatting with mid-meltdown and I like to think when we have a spare moment, What would I be doing right now were I in California? Often, our answer is: sleeping, studying, sitting inside doing very little.  We know that this experience is amazing, that we're really lucky.  I'm just a little stressed. (Finals, not so fun no matter where you are, apparently)

As of today I have exactly 1 month left in Bordeaux before I start my summer travels.  In that month I'm going to be heading to Morocco, Marseilles, Aix-en-Provence, Arles and Paris.  I'm bringing art history flashcards to all of these places!  Really, I have nothing to complain about.  But, oh the  warm fuzzy feeling I will have as I sign up for classes in the Fall, on the internet (server overloaded/crashing included), and look at my schedule which will already have classrooms, class hours, and finals schedule, all before the start of class.... My youngest host brother just came through my room, singing and dancing to Sum 41's "In Too Deep"on his way to the restroom.  It made me smile, and made me reflect...

Toto, now I know I'm not in Kansas anymore.